🤯 The “Worst” Spell Ever Spell

theillustrativewitch:

orriculum:

donnaoria:

Obviously, some magick is like totally fake and needs to be called out (*cough* @this-isnt-magic​ *cough*). This spell is designed to repel “fake” magick, help you see “real” magick, and only perform “correct” spells.

Gather | NO SUBSTITUTIONS

🤯 ½ cup of bullshit – only real bull’s shit is allowed.

🤯 2 real wands with real magick that I crafted in my real witch temple. 

🤯 1 magick eraser – my books said these are the only real magickal erasers.

🤯 4 Tumblr tears – because I’m #edgy

🤯 1 Road salt – much more potent and harder to collect. Don’t complain.

Process | DON’T BE LAZY

Mix the tumblr tears with the road salt, stirring at a 45 degree angle with your two wands. The wands should be held exactly 2mm apart and traveling at .25 mph around your bowl. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Add your ½ cup of bullshit. Just do it.

Now say the incantation, “I’m a real witch. Like a REAL witch. Not like those fakers.”

Rub the eraser against your forehead to erase all the bad tumblr posts that were “forced” onto you.

Moving Forward

Surprise, you aren’t actually better than anyone else.

Um??? Obviously it’s not witchcraft if you dont include at least 4 pounds of ableism!! or at least a healthy dose of home grown classism???

Buddy, pal, gurl, muh dude,

How could you possibly forget that ¼ pound of racism and the 1/3 cup sexism? It’s subtle but it’s SOOO important